by Lorraine Collins
I've never been a great fan of what we call country and western music
because I thought it all seemed to be about broken hearts and broken promises, loneliness,
trains missed and dogs that died. But sometimes it does reflect common human
experiences and things that are true and important. One good example is a song
made famous by Kenny Rogers---"The Gambler."
It's been running through my mind quite a bit lately because of the
advice the gambler offers to the narrator: "Know when to hold 'em, know
when to fold 'em." Apparently the gambler didn't learn that too well
himself because, after he's bummed a cigarette and a drink of whisky from a
fellow he met on a "train to nowhere", he dies.
Yet, his advice is still
good: know when to hold and when to fold, not just in poker, but in life. I've
been trying to figure that out myself lately, and I know if we could all learn
that, everything might be easier for us. For instance, in the last year we've witnessed
events in Egypt and Libya when dictators just refused to give up their power
and ended up dooming themselves and their countries to a long ordeal. Still, the
boss of Syria hasn't seemed to get the message that there's a time to fold.
In the recent Republican presidential nomination contest, one fellow
might have bailed out a bit early, but others hung on way past the bitter end. So
sometimes we do give up too soon, maybe because of a lack of grit, or because
of a sudden realization that the goal is most likely unattainable, so we cut
our losses. But in most cases we don't fold too soon but just hang on too long
because we hate to give up whatever we have enjoyed doing.
There are a lot of examples. Many of us can name a famous professional
quarterback who didn't know when to retire, and in music and the arts we've
seen performers who would have been better off leaving their reputations intact
with a graceful exit. Great literary works have been written about faded
geniuses or warriors trying to regain former glory. It's not that we lack
examples. It's just hard to recognize those same tendencies in ourselves.
I remember when I was a kid not wanting to come home from playing kick
the can even though it was getting pretty dark. When my mother called me to
come in, I protested that I was still having fun. She said, "Always quit
when you're having fun." That's pretty good advice, too, though many of us
wait until everything isn't quite as much fun as it used to be.
Of course I'm leading up to something here. It's been hard to decide to
leave the Black Hills after enjoying 26 years living in Spearfish Canyon and
Spearfish, but the time has come for my husband Keith and me to do so, as we've
recognized it's time to fold. We've had a lot of fun here, flying airplanes, driving
Model Ts, riding bikes, hunting deer, playing golf, attending plays, concerts,
and even opera here in the Black Hills. But to tell the truth, as time has gone
on the years have accumulated in our bones. It's just about too late to quit
while we're still having fun.
One thing that has been fun for me is writing this column for the last
six years. For the first several months I wrote a column once a week, then
faded to twice a month and I eventually
realized that writing a column once a month is the best I can do if I'm
going to do anything else, like laundry. There certainly has been a lot to
write about. When I put together a collection of my columns last year there
were 90 commentaries in seven different categories and it's really hard to think
of something I haven't written about. I've enjoyed it and I really appreciated
the response from readers over the years. Thanks.
Now it's time to start cleaning out the house and the garage and to pay
attention to another line in "The Gambler." It's about "knowing
what to throw away and what to keep." Good luck with that one.
Lorraine Collins is a writer who lives in Spearfish. She can be contacted at collins1@midco.net
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